Updated: Aug 28, 2020
Just like the infinite loop of the lemniscate my pace in which I create changes from time to time. I can work fast, especially when I work on commission pieces for as in those, the goal is clear. In my own free work, the possibilities are limitless and I don’t have time to rush. And I enjoy that, because I believe that we all, should slow down and take more time for everything.
This painting which I called ‘Humble Embrace” I started in 2016. By then I had nó idea that it would lead to the image it is today. I was in a dark place during this time. I was recovering from PTSD, depression and burn-out. My whole body was hurting, my mind was foggy and I had not much to hold on to for a sense of safety. Because I can get restless if I don’t create for too long, sometimes I like to just start, see where it goes, without any expectations. It is freeing! It is exciting as well as relaxing. It is a form of meditation. And a healthy way of escapism too.
First layers in 2016 ............................................................................... Finished painting in 2020
Four years it took me to finish this painting but that does not mean that I have been working on it every day withing those four years. As a matter of fact, I haven’t touched this canvas in 2017, ‘18 and ‘19! The amount of times I come back to a painting in a creative process like this varies and depends on everything, really.
To me, working in this way represents so many ways of staying true to myself. It even feels as a rebellious act in these times we are living in.
A photographer finds the perfect place, objects and or people, composition and light, then presses click and captures the moment. As a painter I can’t capture a moment in one click. Creating a painting is in my experience a very interesting relationship with time. If I want to paint what I feel, or what I see, I need to first catch it in my mind. Then I have to put paint on my brush and as soon as I make the first brush stroke with paint on my canvas, my mind can already wonder to some place else. That is why the mind is connected to the element of air. Both my sun and moon signs are air signs. Imagine being in a room full of butterflies, like.. FULL of butterflies, and they are all interesting and beautiful. In order to express and create, you have to catch one. Good luck! Which one do you choose? And why? And when you catch it, if you can, are the other ones distracting you? A lot of people would just sweep their butterfly-net and just see what they would catch. This can be interesting, yes, but don’t you want to have a say in what You create?
During the process of creating paintings like this, I explore IN the paintings. I am creating the layers and I travel in each of them and discover new insights and ideas. I am taking the time to sit witch each butterfly that I want to connect with.
“Humble Embrace” turned out to be another painting full will symbolism. As much as I would love to write about that, I prefer to give you, the viewer the oppertunity to travel in my layers and discover and recognize them your self! Your perspective is unique, enjoy it!